Kayla was asked to speak tonight at the Stake General Priesthood Meeting. She amazes me, it was so awesome - she has allowed me to share it.
Qualities in a Future Companion
Talk given by Kayla Gomer - May 17, 2009 Stake Priesthood Meeting
A couple of weeks ago when I was asked if I would speak at this meeting, I felt extremely overwhelmed. I couldn’t imagine what I would say to all of these men who have the blessing of Priesthood power. I am extremely grateful for all of you and your worthiness to hold this sacred power. You are definitely examples to me.
Tonight, I am going to speak to you about the qualities that I am looking for in my future husband.
As I speak to you, I hope that I will be able to motivate you all to become the men and husbands I know you can be, whether you are already married or just at the very beginning of your preparation for marriage.
Now, I am going to forewarn you all that I am definitely not perfect and neither is any other woman on this earth, so I want to let you know that we do not expect you to be perfect. Elder Oaks once said, “A good marriage does not require a perfect man or perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.”
An eternal marriage is the beginning on the journey toward perfection and to an eternal family. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, there are qualities that are explained that I want my eternal companion to have. The Proclamation reads, “All human beings-male and female- are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, each has a divine nature and destiny.” Respect for one another is an essential piece of a marriage. Respecting others leads to understanding that we are all sons and daughters of God. We all have a divine purpose and we all have different characteristics that make up the person that we are. Because no two people are the same, respect the differences. Don’t treat anyone, especially your wife, like they are inferior. Your wife is your best friend; she should walk right by your side, not behind you.
The Proclamation tells us, “In the Premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father…” I want my husband to have a strong testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. I want my future companion to inspire me to become the best person I can be. Love the Lord and do His will. Each of you young men should be planning on going on a mission and unselfishly giving up two years of your life to preach the gospel wherever you are sent. If you are a good missionary, you will return home with the desire to continue to serve the Lord, to keep His commandments, and do His will. Such behavior will add immeasurably to the happiness of your marriage.
The Proclamation then says, “Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.” A temple marriage should be our number one goal. We have been taught that since primary:
“I love to see the temple, I’ll go inside someday,
I’ll covenant with my father, I’ll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together,
As a child of God, I’ve learned this truth,
A family is forever.”
There is no greater gift than that of a marriage in Heavenly Father’s holy house. I will not settle for anything else, and neither should any of you. You need to prepare to be worthy to be sealed in the temple for all eternity. You need to be willing to sacrifice everything so that you can take the woman you love to the temple for all eternity.
Determination to have a temple marriage is illustrated in the story of Kovana Pauga and Evelini Wesley, who lived in Samoa before a temple was built there. To enjoy the blessings of a temple marriage, these faithful members decided to be married in the Laie Hawaii Temple. To cover the cost of airfare to Hawaii, they asked the superintendent of the school where they worked, to withhold 80% of their income and set it aside. They paid their tithing with half of their remaining income and lived on the other half. To save money, the couple grew food in a garden. After nearly a year, they saved enough money to make the trip to Hawaii, and there they were sealed for time and eternity in the house of the Lord. This couple reached their goal because a temple sealing was a priority.
Ask yourself, is being married in the temple a priority for me? Do my actions reflect my desire to be sealed in the temple? Decide today that you will settle for nothing less.
The Proclamation then states: “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force… the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.” Every young woman’s dream is to become a mother someday. I want my future husband to look forward to having children and will set a good example for them.
President Hinckley once said as he was addressing men in conference, “what greater thing in all this world can there be than to become the father of a precious child, a son or daughter of our Father in Heaven, for whom we are given the right and responsibilities of mortal stewardship. How precious thing is a baby. How wonderful thing is a child. What a marvelous thing is a family. Live worthy of becoming a father of whom your wife and children will be proud.” Strive to become that person, so your wife can tell your children “follow your dad’s example.”
Take your Priesthood responsibilities and duties seriously in your families. As in the Proclamation, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other. “Children are an heritage of the Lord.” (Psalms 127:3) Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they may live. “ It is such an amazing sight for me when I see a father bring his family together for scripture study and family prayer. Building a family on a foundation of the gospel will enable them to withstand the buffetings of Satan.
The Proclamation states, “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.” I want my husband to be motivated to provide for our family spiritually as well as temporally. The roles of men and women in our society has been distorted and I want my husband to understand Heavenly Father’s plan for men and women and the roles we play in that plan. Always maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
In conclusion, I want to let you all know that no girl is going to be looking for someone who has all of these qualities perfected, but as you strive to develop these characteristics, you will be better prepared for marriage. As part of God’s plan of happiness, we are here on earth to learn, to grow, and to marry in the temple so we can build eternal family units.
President Ezra Taft Benson said, “Give me a young man who has kept himself morally clean and has faithfully attended his church meetings. Give me a young man who has magnified his priesthood and earned his Duty to God Award… Give me a young man who is a seminary graduate and has a burning testimony of the Book of Mormon. Give me such a man and I will give you a young man who can perform miracles for the Lord in the mission field and throughout his life.” I know that you all can become the person Heavenly Father wants you to be. You Can Do IT! And for you young men, Heavenly Father is preparing a righteous young woman to be your eternal companion. Live worthy of such a woman.
